ABC's of Romance
This article is reprinted from Christian
needs/wants attention. Pay attention to the object of your affection. You'll end up with
Balance. Who wants
to spend time with a one dimensional non-entity. Variety is the spice of life. If you are
a football addict, try a symphony concert. Allow a reasonable time for the various phases
of life--work, play, worship, family, study.
relationship that starts with Jesus at the center has a much better chance of lasting that
one that is 'self' centered.
Diamonds. Jewels are
nice, gold is nice, material possessions are nice, but remember this: Someone asked the
accountant of John D. Rockefeller how much the tycoon had left when he died. The
accountant said, "Everything!" John D. didn't take a thing with him. Neither
will you. Look for the diamonds in people. Much more valuable than the fleeting ones that
gets excited when a super excited person is around. The word enthusiasm comes from two
Greek words, 'en' meaning 'in', and 'theos' meaning 'God'. Thus it means literally
"God within". If you have God within you, you are really alive--full of life and
vitality. And it shows to the people around you.
wants freedom. The first place to be free is in your own mind. If you are
mentally/spiritually free; no one can imprison you. What is hard is to let the other
persons in your life be free, too. To be completely free, you must allow others to be free
Give. Share good
news. Be willing to share the bad news of the other person. Learn empathy--stronger than
sympathy. Sympathy says, "That's too bad." Empathy says, "That hurts me,
too. Let me help you fix it." Give of yourself. Giving flowers is nice. Cooking a
meal for your love is nice. Giving of yourself, wholly, completely is true love.
Heaven. Very few
people are willing to do right now to go to heaven. But we all want to find heaven on
earth. I have good news. It can be done! If you practice the Golden Rule, an amazing thing
will happen. First, the people in your life will start treating you better. Second, you
will like yourself better.
is important. "God don't make no junk." If you treat a person as if he/she is
extremely precious, behold, that person will start acting as if he/she is precious. What
follows is you will start getting treated as if you are extremely precious, too. (Aren't
Join. Join in life.
Join your friend in fixing the broken washing machine. Join in having a picnic. Join in
prayer. Join in singing. Join in visiting a relative of your friend in the hospital. Join
in sharing romance. (Real romance is sharing life--not just the candlelight dinner times.)
Knock. Jesus said,
"Knock and it shall be opened unto you..." He did not say, "Sit on your
duff and I will bring everything to you." If you want to have something, you have to
make an effort. Jesus feeds the birds, and will take perfect care of you, too. But even
the bird has to open its mouth if it wants to eat. If you want a good romance, or anything
else, you need to work at it.
Laundry. The shirts
get dirty, so do the socks and all the rest. It would be interesting to see the results if
we could compile statistics on how many relationships go on the rocks because of
laundry--or some other mundane chore. It doesn't matter who does the laundry (or dishes or
oil changes or ??), but someone has to. The important thing is that such things are done
in a way that is satisfactory to both parties. The key is communication. Talk to each
other. Learn what is important. Get inside the other person's head.
Major. Most of us
major in minors. That is, we get the important things and the trivia all mixed up. Does it
really matter whether you eat at 5 o'clock or 6 o'clock? Yet many arguments start over
such small things. Find ways to neutralize the minor things. The major things will take
care of themselves. You each want to squeeze the toothpaste from opposite ends of the
tube? Buy a tube for each of you and stop fussing about how your love squeezes it.
Newness. Ah, the
thrill of a new romance! The sky is brighter, the air is clearer, your step is springier.
The trick is to keep it 'new'. As humans we have a tendency to want more, to want
different than whatever we already have. Remember that tendency in your courting. When you
are romancing your new love, you try to do all you can to make life exciting and fun for
your hoped-to-be significant other. What you need to do is to "keep on truckin'"
"keep on courtin'". Don't ever stop! No matter how many years you date/have been
married; keep on courting. Otherwise, it will get OLD.
Old. People like new
things, not old things. So don't allow your relationship to become one of the 'old'
things. Even after a marriage of 50 or 60 years, the moon looks a lot better when it's
shared walking hand in hand. Keep on courtin'.
Promise. Some people
operate on the basis of "promise them anything". Politicians for sure do.
Trouble is when the politicians don't deliver on the promises, the voters become
unhappy/disillusioned. So do lovers! Promise only what you intend to keep. Then KEEP YOUR
Quench. We're all
thirsty for love. As the song says, "What the world needs now is love, sweet love.
It's the only thing there's just not enough of." I've never met anyone who told me
they had too much love. I've also found the only way to get more love is to give some
away. (I'm talking true love here. Not a jealous love or possessive love.
[Jealousy/possessiveness is not love anyway--it's the opposite.] Don't confuse 'love' with
desire for the other person or lust either.) You can quench the thirst for love of your
intended love by simple acts. Say, "Thank you." or, "I like it when you
smile that way." or, "You surely did a good job on that _____."
Revere. As Rodney
said, "I don't get no respect." Most of us don't get enough respect. We all need
to be valued as persons. Value the person you 'love'. If you don't respect him/her, how
can you say you love him/her?
Scrabble. Were we
getting too serious? Lighten up. Life is to be enjoyed. Jesus spent as much time at dinner
parties as he spent in Sermons on the Mount. Play scrabble, or volleyball, or go skiing,
or just play for the sake of playing. Tell a joke. Let your love know you are a real,
Trouble. It comes to
every life. Like joy, trouble is better when shared. Unlike joy, it's better if you don't
dump yours on others. Much better to keep your antennae out to share the trouble of the
people around you. Help to lighten their load.
Insurance offers hold an umbrella over us to keep the storms of life from being as severe.
Why not hold an umbrella over your 'love' to soften the storms.
Vitamins. Did you
take your vitamins today? 'Vita' is Latin for 'life'. So did you add life to your being
today? More, did you add life to the being to the person you love today? A glass of water
served with love will do it. A compliment will do it. A hug will do it. A kiss will do it.
Walk. Walking is
good for your physical health. Walking together is good for the health of your
relationship. I've lived in the same house for seven years. My next door neighbors, Paul
and Connie, go walking down our sidewalk every afternoon when Paul comes home from work. I
love to watch them. They have been married 28 years. They hold hands while they walk like
brand new lovers.
strong dislike/distrust of strangers.) You won't have much romance until you start liking
people. God made something good in everyone. Look for the good in people around you.
Yes. It's a magical
word. Everyone wants to hear it. Say it whenever you can. More than 'saying' yes, also do
'yes'--find ways to help, ways to "go the extra mile".
Zest for life.
Without zest, you are not really alive. With it, life is wonderful, people are wonderful,
and you can enjoy heaven on earth even now. Come alive. Discover how great everything can
be. Life is either an exciting adventure--or nothing. Your life can be exciting. If you
come alive, everyone around you will love you more. Try it and see.