I am never really sure what to say on here. How does one describe themself, their faith, their preferences, their goals and dreams as well as some of their history in several short paragraphs? I always try my best, but from the lack of mail I receive, I must not do a good job or even a proficient job. I guess I will try again and pray that someone finds me interesting. . . I am a very mature and responsible 20 year old living in Lake Elsinore, CA. I am currently a full-time, live in nanny for two children, ages 4 and 5. Their parents are in the midst of a divorce and I have taken it upon me to provide some stablilty and love into their lives. I have a very busy schedule with them and it is not uncommon for me to work 7 days a week. I can take time off when needed, but most of the time, I am centered around them. I am currently attending Calvary Chapel of Menafee and I am getting taught so much there. The pastor is so real it is incredible. I dont know how to explain it, but he is down to earth and humble in his messages. I dont know many people in the church, but there are about three familys on our block that go and I am growing closer to all of them. My relationship with Jesus is getting better. I am still so far from where I want to be and I mess up so much. Honestly, I can feel like one day that God and I are as close as can be, but the next day I mess up with some little thing and I feel lost and empty until I cry and pray about it. At this point, I thought I would have learned that He knows best for me, but sometimes I still fight Him. After all my mistakes and after taking control of my life and messing it up so many times, you would think it would be easy to give it up, but it is a daily struggle. I am tired of being a medeocre Christian and have been praying for God to make me clean and pure and more like Him for a few months now. That is when He started stripping me of my comforts that were distracting me. . . friends, music, family. They wernt necessiarly bad things, they were just too high on my priority list. It took me a few days to get what was going on. I got angry even though I knew He was right. Now I am trying to look forward to the next sacrifice, although it hurts to sacrifice (hence, the name sacrifice). Although as I read this, it sounds depressing and serious, I am far from that! I am funny and witty and I love to just spend time with people. I love to read and sing. I am almost always a pleasent person and I make people laugh.