Not too far a long time passed since I was a convinced unbending atheist and materialist and only recently my mind began to change. I stopped resisting. I opened my heart for the God, a new life, got another look at the world. And it was far not so easy for me as I am already a grown-up ready-made personality with strict opinions about life and world structures. But the life itself is a good teacher which can bring to reason even such ones as me though these lessons might be very cruel! I don't know what's waiting for me there but I am sure whatever is happening to me now is the best possible to be in my life. I am directed to the God, to a new life , to the light! It's my way. I know that it's often difficult when a person is alone and without their beloved person close to them. It helps to know that their is a dear friend who cares and thinks warmly about you. God says in the Bible, that it's not good to be alone. I'm very glad that I have a little daughter to care for and think about. But I have deep need for feelings of special affection from a beloved man, too. It's possible that after we meet, we shall become the special beloved person for each other!. . . . . . Do you remember we sitting at a sea shore and that tremendous sunset? The sand cooled down already and I was sitting on your knees. . . You tightly pressing me against yourself with one hand, while the other's fingers running tenderly over my occiput hair. . . . When your fingers were touching my neck then millions of little flashes were crossing my body. . . . ( you always remembered of that my little weakness). You were embracing me and your heart's beating was echoing in my heart. . . I was trying to stop the moment being afraid to stir, to scare away that divine feeling present between us at those moments. . . You were looking into the endless blue distance wispering into my ear 'I LOVE YOU. . . . . . I LOVE YOU. . . . . I LOVE YOU. . . The time stopped. . . Nothing left around. . . everything disappeared. . . just your heart beating. . . your breathing . . . your voice. . . My lovely, I am still hearing it. . . . . . I LOVE YOU. . . . Magic flutes, tender small bells are tuning in my heart. . . It's Angels playing. Can you hear that divine music?. . .