Short AnswersDescribe the type of relationship you are looking for. What qualities would you like in this relationship or person? ----------- While I am potentially open for incidental platonic friendships, I'm not primarily seeking pen-pals. I'm 47 as of the summer of 2004, but have relatively little "experience" or baggage. I certainly don't feel this old (usually!), nor look it, according to friends & acquaintances (they don't see me when I get out of bed!). I'm generally open to women YOUNGER than me (than *I*. . . but it *sounds* so wrong!). I most often click on the 36-40 catagory. What a chauvinist. But an *honest* chauvinist. . . 10/16/2004 RANT: Why do so many women list themselves in a lower age group than they belong in--then rationalize it at the bottom of their profiles? [throat clearing] Why not just say, "I'm interested in contacts between such and such an age". . . as some do, which is nice and up front. Frankly, most of the women on here who claim "people tell me I look much younger" are betrayed by their photos. I often get those comments from folks too, but can't use that to justify the deception of placing myself in a lower age group. Makes me wonder how many AREN'T owning up. . . . . . now, I recently met someone my age, divorced, with children still at home, and found myself very attracted, but alas, this person was not looking for a romantic relationship at the time. . . so, there are exceptions. . . you just never know to whom you may be attracted if the chemistry is right. . . (mind you, this person was active, and intelligent, not a beauty queen, but plenty attractive to me--healthy & wholesome looking). I'd really LOVE it if the woman I marry can do physical stuff with me, I mean go for long hikes, bike riding, swimming, etc. ; isn't afraid to work up a sweat. . . I'm no athlete, but I can dance circles around most women half my age. . . really. It's a big turn off for me to dance with a partner who behaves like a sack of potatoes. . . Terribly unspritual, huh? ----------- Okay, so another freebie week is over. . . don't know why I leave this profile up, since I don't hold out a lot of hope of meeting "the one" this way, but you never know. . . I am mostly interested in meeting women who, like me, have never been married and have no children (but that's not a hard and fast global rule) and who live around the greater Boston area, since proximity is really important in founding a friendship. . . and for something to have romantic potential, well, for me, your personality, the sound of your voice, your body language, and your pheromones are really crucial contributors to any "chemistry" that might occur. Not that I don't think chemistry can't develop over time, but I haven't yet had a "blind date" type situation that ended up decidedly positive. Pictures just aren't enough (to be fair, though, for those who communicate with me and have pics, I will point you to a link with mine). I generally know right away when I'm really attracted to a woman. . . and unfortunately, it happens less and less these days. Dating is a real drag. . . I'm not very good at it and hate the pressure, so I don't date much. However, friendship is the best beginning for any romance, so I'm mostly looking for someone I feel comfortable being with. . . a relatively uncomplicated, low-maintenance, but decidedly feminine woman who smiles easily and is less melancholy than I. Please don't be tooooo overweight. . . when we dance, I want to be able to dip you!
Describe a little of your personality and character traits. (Are you funny, laid back, more serious, open, shy, etc. ?) ----------- Incurable romantic. Dreamer. Playful. Silly. Thinker. . . or, brooder? Tell loooooooong stories (". . . now, the reason I said all that, is to say this. . . "). Artist. Don't hide my emotions well. Comfortable in my skin. Perfectionist, but you wouldn't know it from the mess in my bedroom. Often shy at first. . . don't go to many parties (don't get invited much), but when I do, I'm either around the food : ) or in a corner chatting with one or two others. On rare occasions among trusted company, I can become rather entertaining. . . or a ham! I just turned 46 this summer. . . still most folks peg me around 40 or under. . . perhaps based more on my behavior than my looks (I've obscured my birthdate for security reasons. . . and to frustrate those who may want to consult the stars). Since I bought a bike and lost some weight over the summer as well, I'm threatening to drop down to the next weight category. . . my clothes sure are loose! [Ed. note, 19 Feb 2004: uh, I really hit the egg nog hard over the holidays. . . partially concerned about possible involuntary weight loss, but mostly because I just LOVE egg nog (unspiked). . . well, uh. . . my clothes ain't so loose anymore. . . just wait till biking season. . . ] My face is pointed away from the camera for good reason. . . it's a bit too exposing having folks surfing in from all over the world knowing what I look like without me knowing what they look like. . . especially if I'm not actively babysitting this thing. . . and I've already recognized a few Bostonians on the cafe. . . that would be a bit embarrassing the other way round.
Describe your Christian faith. Where are you at and what are your goals? What Scripture verses are important to you? ----------- Oh-oh. . . Here's where I get judged. Right? The big sizing up. ". . . is he spiritual enough?" Raised Methodist. Grew into a conscious profession of faith during the summer of my 15th birthday. Fell in with "born again" evangelicals thereafter, and made the rounds (at first outside of Sunday morning services at my home church): Wesleyan, Missionary, C&MA, AoG, Nazarene, Small Independent Cult-Like, Christian, Evangelikal-charismatische Freikirche, Presbyterian, Lutheran, now attending Conservative Congregational. Have attended Catholic mass, Episcopal, Greek Orthodox (one of my early spiritual mentors has converted) and oh yeah. . . Baptist! Was gainfully employed by an evangelical broadcasting organization for several years. Was with YWAM for half a year, and endeavoring to be a missionary for 5. Lots and lots of experiences, many which at the time I considered "spiritual. " Now I'm not so sure. Still trying to make sense of it all. Reassessing a lot of assumptions that clung to me over the years. . . interested in the TRUTH. Extremely wary of over-confident messages put forth as "from God. " Tired of pervasive, insidious legalism, the "Christian ghetto" and want to stay away from its tribalism, however familiar and warm it may feel. . . . . . that's where I'm at right now. This may not be the most ideal forum for me to find a wife. . . but I am committed to personal integrity, honesty (intellectual and otherwise), transparency, just plain being true to myself. I never thought of myself as a real critical or cynical person, but I see now that I should have been asking more questions in the past. . . gonna try to read a lot of C. S. Lewis in the coming months. . . I'd like to meet a woman with whom I can openly discuss these things. . . not in a cynical or bitter way. . . but open and honest and with noble purpose.
What would be the perfect setting for a first meeting with a new friend or date? Describe it :-) ----------- Simple pleasures are the best. . . with a quick escape route, if necessary! Actually, meeting up at a Swing Dance (not as a couple, nor as exclusive dance partners for the night--I could never confine myself to one dance partner) just for an intitial "check out" is very practical. . . if it's positive, we could chat over tea at a diner afterward (if you're coherent after midnight) or make plans for another meeting. . . if it's indifferent or negative, we just separately fade back into the crowd. . . What are your favorite activities? (Including sports, leisure, artistic/musical, etc. ) ----------- Dancing, bicycling, singing, hiking, swimming, canoeing, kayaking, eating, coffee drinking, sleeping, chatting, music listening, silence, xc skiing, driving, reading, listening, old movies, library visits, exploring, meandering, foreign languages & cultures. . . I do kinda lean toward couchpotatism, but only because I'm sick of doing things by myself. . . I really do prefer to be off the couch, and it doesn't take much if I've got a friend to meet to do stuff with.
Describe your current occupation. Do you like what you do? What is your dream job? ----------- Teaching German to 4th-6th graders would be great fun. . . if I could live off the salary in Boston. . . if such a program existed. That really is me in the BMW Roadster, but it was a contract job. . . NOT MY CAR! I have a feeling some women write to me with serious delusions about my income based on that photo. . . I just bought a "Pre-Owned" (heh heh) $1200 Geo Prizm, so there. . . not my dream car, but it gets me around. . . I didn't even like the BMW, and while I miss a sunroof in my Prizm, I'd never buy a convertible--I sunburn too easily. Since the Tech slump, I'm in another career transition--back to what I have the most experience with (something to do with speaking into a microphone), but the pay does not compare. . . at least not yet (never tried it in a big city before). If your man has to make more $$ than you. . . I'm probably not your type. Sure, I'd love to make lots of money if I could, but I'm not sure that will happen, and I believe in living within one's means and not going into debt. . . any prospective wife of mine will have a very mature attitude toward finances. . . a careless spender is a huge turnoff across the board. 12/19/04 I finally needed to take a "real job" to pay rent and get more affordable health insurance, so for about a month I've been working at a non-profit maintaining the database of donors and making sure everybody gets their junk mail! Never never never did I think I'd be doing something like this, but a good friend had the job before me and sold me on it--a really nice working environment, very friendly coworkers, and only ONE MILE from my house! And I really, really needed the regular income! The actual activity does not lie within the range of my best talents, nor would I want to do such things for a pure profit motive, but this place's mission is really noble. . . they provide rehabilitation for folks with a certain phyisical disability. . . so, in the grand scope of things, I'm helping them toward that goal, which is very important to me in whatever job I do--this value preference has certainly held me back in pursuing my dream of freelance voice-acting (but I have by no means given up on that dream). Where did you go to school (i. e. high school or college/university, etc. )? What did you study? Did you like it? Would you like to do more? ----------- Went to a racially-mixed high school just outside a medium-sized industrial town in the midwest. College there, in Kentucky for a year, and at a no-name U. in the upper midwest. Was an undeclared major as long as I could hold out (too many interests!), then defaulted to vocal music. . . dropped out because I didn't want to teach music or become an opera/oratorio singer. . . if my school had offered more jazz in the performance curriculum, that's probably what I'd be doing today. . . (if I had only known about Berklee back then!) Anyway, I went back at age 25 and ended up with a B. A. in German. Again, would have studied linguistics had it been offered--the U. was in the beautiful quaint town on the lake where I had a job and was settled. . . I often think I stuck around too long for my own good, but I still miss the place.
What are some of your personal goals in life? ----------- Not in any particular order: Find a stable career that I enjoy and affords me financial freedom & flexibility (not luxury & riches), marry my best friend, possibly raise some children (that depends on her and our common circumstances at that time), be faithful to God in all aspects of life. . . to be a Christian. NOT MY GOAL: to "save the world. " I've given that up since my return from Europe. To live in peace. To preserve and nurture the few best friends I have scattered around the US and some abroad, whom I can visit far too seldom. To make & nurture new best friends closer to where I now live. Possibly to find a place to live that suits me better (I don't like the city--too stressful & crowded--much prefer a region with natural beauty and space to move). Possibly take a stab at writing--people (including some of you) tell me I can. . . but it's such hard work. . .
What caused your last relationship to end? What have you learned from past relationships? ----------- It's been over ten years since my last girlfriend. . . and she was by far the most special to date. . . we both moved back to our respective countries/continents, drifting apart amicably. I've never been one to date for dating's sake.
Where were you born? Have you ever traveled? If so, where? What is your ideal adventure? ----------- I am really tired of adventuring on my own. I want someone to adventure WITH. . . my best friend, kindred spirit, lover, wife. . . that would be ideal. Is there anything else you would like to add? This is your chance to get in that last (but not least:-) bit of important info that you would like others to know. ----------- For those who don't live anywhere near Boston, but sense a kindred spirit, I have friends in Upper & Lower Michigan, Florida, Washington State, South Africa and maybe New Zealand (I wish!) who I may be visiting at some point, so if you live there and we connect, maybe a short casual meeting would be in order. . . auch wenn du in Deutschland, Oesterreich, der Schweiz, oder Daenemark (das Land meiner Vorfahren) bist, wuerde ich mich ueber eine Nachricht freuen! I've always been interested in people from all over the world, so shoot, go ahead and drop me a line if you want. . . the more exotic, the better. . . but on my current budget, I'm not sure how soon I could meet you. And since I'll have to wait for the next free trial, it may take some time before I answer. . . For those of you closer to my neck of the woods, you might come out to Swing City on a Friday night, or any of Hop To The Beat's (Cambridge Friends School or the Scout House in Concord) or the Boston Swing Dance Network's Saturday (Armenian Church in Watertown) dances. . . . if I'm there, I'm usually sweatin' up a storm in a headband, what with lindy hopping, shag and balboa. . . ask me for a dance! You might also see me at Park Street Church, one of their Soli Deo Gloria or CrossWalk events (I know I'm stretching the age envelope) or, lately, at the Friday evening public lectures at L'Abri Fellowship in Southborough (oooh--that's really narrowing it down--certainly dropping names, aren't I?).