It took 53 years for me to realize that women look toward the future, men look towards today. Women yearn for a soul mate, men for a companion. This realizaion didn't come over night or without many, many hurts. Hurt that I have cause to others and hurt I suffered myself. Through it all one thing has remained constant; his forgiveness of me for causing this hurt as a father, son, friend or ex-husband. Because of this he is very much a part of my search for my soul mate not my companion. I believe he is leading me to where I should go and all I have to do is to have the patience to wait and to be honest in who I am. A man that lives in Missouri far away from any chance of frequent walks on a moon-lit beach. Instead I can promise frequent walks around the the lake where I'm building a weekend home. Or walks on the city streets where I live. While on these walks I can also promise a ceiling of a zillion bright stars on a clear night or the feel of wind blowing across your face as you ride the waves in a lazy comfortable boat. I can't promise cuddling every night in front of the fireplace but I can promise sitting close at night on the sofa. I can promise showing you how a cold glass pane feels in the still of night or what a light looks like on a snow covered hill. But I can't promise that life with me will be like a rose but I can promise I will try to treat you as one. I can also promise that I will love you more today than I did yesterday and more tomorrow than today. If you let me I can promise to show you how to love animals and how they love you back. I can promise that this is who I am and that six months or six years from now that this is who I will be so that one morning you won't wake up thinking that this isn't the person that you fell in love with. I can finally promise if I am right for you and you are right for me and we have been put together by God that I will give you all that I am and all that I will ever will be because this will be a true blessed gift from him, our God.