Am a christian, I serve God in my local church, am an indian girl born in malaysia, and I live near to God's temple and I love it. the indian men of my own community don't want me, their reason is that I am black skinned, very dark, very ugly, not preety and shorty. they don't even take another look at me. well that's why am still single till todate. even married men say I am ugly, though I did not ask them to marry me. I am just relying on the Lord to help me. when I was a kid I use to attend sunday school, but I was not serious I just lived as a hindu, though my name shows a christian name. and by the time am 18yrs old in 1988 I was involved in a terrible sin. which the Lord said if I don't repent, sudden destruction would fall on me. and then I accepted the Lord as my saviour and after that it was moulding and cleaning and breaking time, been through a lot in life, under depression, mum was an abusive person. emotionally and mentally abused, wanted to either commit suicide or wanted to be a prostitute cause my mother's abusive and destructive words. but in 1999 God began to change my life, and that's when I really change myself, my look and dressing. I did change myself but by the time I change, the men of my age have all married and they have children. God made me a senior staff of a legal firm. I prayed to the Lord to give me a job near to his temple and I wanted christian boss. bosses were christians but then a terribly jealous hindu colleague broke the friendship between me and my bosses and after 5 yrs of working with them I resigned in jan 2004. all because they began to accuse me falsely without investigating and scolded me of being rude and unfriendly and that I had no courtesy. after all the work I did for them, I was there for them to do their work anytime they called me, I did 5-6 clerks work for them but at last they told me to decide whether I want to say or leave and it broke my heart suffered so much because I was so close to them and they were like brothers to me, and I had a good friendship even with their wives and I was wounded terribly in heart. they forgot about me after that, never bothered about me, so much for friendship, cried daily almost more than 3 yrs. this was a job that God gave me after much abusive life I went through with my parents. and God did lift me up in my parents eyes and God also gave me enough money to purchase a house near to God's temple. after I resigned life was terrible, I was lonely and alone, wished I had already married, but no, I got another job but a molesting boss and he is a lawyer but God did not let him molest or rape me. he has the capacity to do such. a wicked man, scolds me with foul and filthy words using his private parts names whenever I did a small mistake. he stole my salary, but God sustained me for every thing he did to me. then my former bosses heard this what happened to me, the took me back to work, in 2006 october. And at the same time I was working for a abusive lawyer, I had trouble with my tenant as well, it happened the same time, I had no peace of mind at home neither at office, the tenant is an alcoholic which I did not know, and drank all night, plays the radio very loudly, distrubing my sleep and peace and the neighbours never goes to work and his wife has to go to work and earn money to pay my rent and she has to take care of 5 children and these children I had pity on them I took them for sunday school at our church. and that man became abusive tried to break the bathroom door when I was in shower thinking that his wife was there, but God made sure that door did not break and God protected my modesty. am so grateful to God, how I wished I had a husband to protect me from such abusive men who take advantage on me just because am not married and no one to fight for me. and God took me out of the abusive boss' firm and now am back to the place where God has placed me before and as God promised God restored what I lost. and God also removed the wicked tenant from my home, now my house is back for myself. now it's 2008 still lonely and single and alone. forgive me cause am not able to answer your messages here due to some reasons.