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Location: Kitchener, ON,
Country: Canada

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Age: 38 Race: White
Church: Protestant-Christian   Education: Some College
Marital: Never Married   Smoker? NO   Occupation: Massage Therapist
Height: 5ft 9   Hair: Brown   Eyes: Brown
Children living at home: 0    Body Type: Muscular
Seeking someone between ages: 24 and 44      Open to dating any race
I've been a struggling cristian my whole life. I certainly did not expect to be telling you that tonight though, but here I am, maybe it's time to find a nice girl. Hopefully one who is fit, atractive and active. Fun, smart and funny. Kids are alright, my son is 18. I'm not usually lost for words, but I find suddenly humbled at this point. My name is ken, but I think Brad speller is better so let me tell you about Brad. So let me tell you about Brad. Often misinterperted as shallow and self centered, he is a good man with a great heart and feels somewhere out there is a girl with all the quallities he desires. One who will appreciate all that he has to offer and can except him for all that he is. Being a geminy has been difficult for him, he feels the polor opposite power struggle between, the good and the bad. Slowly loosing his site through out life has been a constant battle, but not the biggest in his life. Looking back, the single most problem he concerns himself with is finding a partner in life. Currently his heart aches after another failed relationship. This one hurts more than most because he finally found a girl he thaught he wanted, someone who could help him in all the physical things he loves to do: downhill skiing mainly is what braught them together. She signed up to be his race guide, the person he put absolute trust in. At first he thaught she was cute, later he discovered she was physically perfect for him, all his hopes and dreams collected in one and their pation grew, but she had a secret, sometimes disabilities aren't easy to see. It started with anxiety, no I gues even before that was short bouts of acute sadness. Understandable, she just ended a 7 year life with another she cared deeply for. Brad knew she was emotionally unstable, but this was to be expected especially after she had to put down both her dogs that were with her through everything for 12 years of her life. She was confident and strong minded, maybe too strong at times, her expectations of him were high and he often fell short in many ways. Anxiety attacks began as they trained for the Canadian National ski races, she really felt the preasure and responcibility of leading the first and only totally blind racer Canada has seen in 20 years. They made it through and did pretty good for their first year together with room and promis to grow. However as the snow melted so did she. Brad took over his family home after his parrents moved to a retirement home. Although the house needed a lot of work he wasn't capable of doing himself, he couldn't let it go. This prooved to be too much for them. Her deepening depression didn't allow her to be alone and the drasticly increasing anziety would not let her go to work. She stayed with him for the summer, but couldn't or didn't want to help there either, although she did try. Brad watched as the Medical community passed her around and off on each other. Six different types of medication in as many months. Some made her tired, some angry, but none seamed to help even though they claimed to be anti-depressents things got worse she had constant thoughts of leaving the world, not a real desire to hurt herself, just a need to leave the internal pain and struggle, several times during intimate moments she asked Brad to hurt her and placed his hands arround her neck and he wished he could take away the pain. He felt a poor replacement for her previous life otherwise she would value what they had and all this should go away. Finnally she went to the hospital and I gues that is where things started to turn around for her, although they kept her so drugged up he was afraid she would never be the same again. Unfortunately her road to recovery will lead her out west indefenantly and for many reasons and more excuses he can't, won't go, although he wishes with all his heart and sole he could . . . After all what is hear for him? An 18 year old son who seams to need him less and less, but greatly bennifits from his support, Parrents he has never been particularily close with (seperated from his father by a wild child hood desire to live in the world) and a self employment business that took over 5 years to get started. She is leaving because he is selfish and and can't be happy for her, but this is not true, He wants her to be happpy and healthy, but it would be best for him if she was happy and healthy with him and prays she changes her mind because he won't change his after all he loves her. So now he is alone again, but this is worse because he again knows what he needs in his life, love, real, true and deep love. He had a taste of this after ten years of missing another missed and equally tragic opportunity. He knows he can't settle for anything less and until he finds this love he will not rest. It seames Brad is not ready for another relationship at this time at needs time to heal, but just the opposite is true. He has never been so ready for love. For the right girl he is ready to give all that he can. If you can help Brad he would greatly appreciate it even if you just support him in prayer

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