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Single Women - Married Men

 You think that you are in love and that he loves you; well guess what, it is not love! Let's look at a few scriptures in the bible that talks about what love is:

I Corinthians 13: 4-6 .> "charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,"

"Doeth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;"

"Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;"

Love is kind, love envieth not. Wanting another woman's HUSBAND is not kind. Desiring for her HUSBAND to be yours and envying her for being with him is not love. Having him slip over to your house in the wee hours of the night and leaving when the sun rises in the morning, that is truly behaving unseemly.

I can go on and on, but the fact remains, if you really know what love is, your actions would not be seeking after another woman's HUSBAND. TRUE LOVE is GODLY, it is a LOVE that is NOT SINFUL. IF LOVE is not GODLY, then it is not LOVE. 1st John 4:8 > "He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love."

The world's philosophy regarding this same issue says, "You can't help who you fall in love with. You didn't plan it, it just happened." Well, I beg to differ. Being Christian women, we should not even think in the same manner as a sinner. There is NO justification for wanting and "falling in love" with another woman's HUSBAND. You will never find a scripture in the Word of God to back you. If you know a man is MARRIED, why pursue it? Why allow these heartless, selfish men to come in and defile your bodies, tearing down your lives. They bring to you lies all dressed up in a pretty satin box with a huge ribbon around it. But when you open it up, it lays there in hundreds of broken pieces as a box of chattered china. It is not good for anything but to be thrown in the trash with other debris.

God has a HUSBAND for you, he knows all about the lonely nights, the burning desires that seem never ending. He wants to bless you with your OWN HUSBAND. But how can he give you your mate when you are bound with sinful desires for another woman's HUSBAND. It is so sad to think that you can sit right next to this woman in church and have no remorse in your heart for the many, many times you have laid with her HUSBAND. You even become bold about it, sizing yourself up to her, comparing looks and shapes, thinking you have more to offer her HUSBAND than she ever had. You sit there full of vanity and pride. But you are only fooling yourself. Stop thinking that God has shown you a sign or gave you visions and dreams of you and this man being MARRIED, it is NOT going to happen! God has NOT set the stage nor has he written the script to this play! He is NOT in it and will never be apart of this LUDICROUS ACTION!

Shall you continuously hurt this woman? For her tears that she cries out at night upon her bed will soon become a nightmare upon your own. God, with compassion, is listening to her prayers. Psalms 6:6-9 says > "I am weary with my groaning: all the night make I my bed to swim: I water my couch with my tears. - Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies. - Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping. - The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer." When one of God's children cry out to him for help, you can rest assure, that HE WILL HELP THEM. He is a very present help in the time of trouble.

If you had a daughter, would you want her to be hurt? How would you feel if she told you that another woman is having an affair with her HUSBAND and that woman constantly calls her house hanging the phone up, when she answers it. Would you hold your daughter passionately in your arms to console her as she weeps bitter tears of pain and agony? What would you do? What would you honestly say to her? You would without a doubt become very irate with the other woman and your daughter's HUSBAND. If it were possible for you to stand on the outside of yourself, gazing upon your own actions as you pursue a MARRIED MAN, would you be pleased with what you saw, or would you be startled as you gasp at how ugly and hideous your appearance really is? Start thinking about the wife's feelings, place yourself in her shoes, imagine and feel all of the pain that you and her HUSBAND have caused her. If you choose not to- and you - indeed succeed in your plight to become his wife, then you can rest assured, whether you want to or not, you will soon live the agony of all the pain, and indeed much more pain, that his former WIFE had endured. For when you are sitting in church the woman who now sits next to you is in the seat where you had once occupied. She, in the same manner as you had done, having her heart full of lust, vanity and pride, is now sizing you up.

I am reminded of a true story that was told to me. There was a beautiful woman, who sorely wanted to be loved and cherished. Perhaps she did not set out to fall in love with a man who was already MARRIED, but she had. With enticing words, he lured her into his arms; she was mesmerized, disregarding the fact that this was indeed a FORBIDDEN LOVE. She bore him children and for years she accepted his lies, believing in her heart that he truly loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She waited patiently for him to leave his WIFE so they could be together as a family, a real family. The years kept racing by until 26 years had slipped upon her. This woman's children had since grown up, some were even married, one of her daughters had married a man in the army and she wanted to move her mother and other sisters and brother to the city she was now living in. The mother was reluctant to leave; she went to the man that she had loved for so many years. She told him, that if he would marry her, she would not leave. That man looked into her eyes, his heart untouched by her love or the hardship she had endured, having to raise their five children alone. Without feeling the slightest bit remorse, he told her, NO, he could not leave his WIFE and children. Can you imagine the throbbing agony that woman felt as she prepared to leave?

"All a board," the train conductor bellowed out as she slowly climbed the stairs boarding the train. Agonizing pain seared her heart as though it had been branded with a hot iron. She sat gazing out of the tiny window, in silent misery. Her heart aching, pierced with the words her lover had spoken. His words rang hauntingly in her ears, a sound that could not be muted. It tore away at her like a vicious animal, gnawing its fangs into her flesh. Sitting there, she tried in vain to hide the tears that were falling from her aging eyes upon her cheeks. They poured down heavily as a raging rainstorm, beating upon the ground. Teardrops hung to her lashes, blurring her vision. She continued gazing out of the window, not at the scenery but at her life. The many nights she had lay alone, longing for him to be there beside her. When he had been there, it was only because the time was convenient for him. For a few pleasurable hours, she had allowed him to consume her with lustful passion. She remembered like it was just yesterday, the bitter tears that had streamed from her eyes as she had begged him to stay. "Please, just a little while longer, I need you to hold me." He'd fabricate an excuse for having to leave, and as urgently as a fireman dressing for duty, he had left. The beautiful flower she was, had slowly withered like a cut rose lying upon the scorching dessert sand. She remembered those years she had let waste away like rubbish floating in the sea; the years that she had given to this MARRIED man believing that one-day he would be hers. She then realized that she had been a fool, a woman blinded by what she thought had been a true love; but instead, it had been forbidden. The pain that she was now feeling was devastating; she then knew that he never loved her, he didn't love her at all. The steady, bleeding thought of never truly being loved by him, tormented her bruised heart like the deadly, penetrating sting of a scorpion. At that very moment as she sat riding that train, her life began to cease, a dying woman gasping for air. She hadn't been in the new city one week before she had become gravely ill. She had a stroke and fell into a coma. The pain of rejection was too much for her to bear. Lying alone upon her hospital bed, with no HUSBAND of her own to kneel down beside her; praying to God to bring his WIFE back to him. There she lay in that cold hospital room all alone, without the love of a HUSBAND. Four of her children were there by her side, and within a few short days she died, slipping silently away.

A sad story, but true. This woman gave her all and all to a man who had lied to her for so many years. A man who had selfishly used her, robbing her of youth, a man who selfishly continued to take from her until he had taken her very life.

Will you also walk down the same road that this woman had walked? Will you be the aging MISTRESS holding on to broken promises that takes you to your grave? Will you be trading places with his WIFE, spending your time alone, crying out at night because he is out with another woman? Don't let the devil continue to deceive you, get from under the covers that he has draped upon your shoulders and fall down on your knees with a heart full of repentance.

I can truly say, I repented before my Lord, asking him to forgive me for what I had done. My heart was real before him. Jesus removed the scales that were upon my eyes, now I see how terribly wrong I had been. God has made me free, HOW I PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME! So, boldly, I say with confidence in God's keeping POWER: I WILL NOT TRAVEL DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN. I wait patiently for my own HUSBAND, knowing that the Lord will bless me with him, in HIS own time. Jesus can free you also, if you want to be FREE.

For me, it did not happen over night or just in one prayer. At times I thought that I had honestly repented, but my heart held on to the man I thought was mine. I couldn't seem to let go of him. A part of me wanted to, and then there was that side of me that didn't want to lose him or be alone. But I was already alone and didn't even realize it. He couldn't be there for me; he wasn't mine to have or mine to lose. I had NO RIGHT to him. God knew my heart was now real, I had grown tired of being in a DEADLY, SINFUL RELATIONSHIP. I was on my way to HELL if I continued in it. I didn't have the strength or really know how to just let that man go. One night as I lay upon my bed, the Lord gave me a story that was so simple.

There were two sisters; each of them had many toys and dolls to play with. At times, they would share their toys with each other. The oldest sister had received on her birthday, a beautiful porcelain doll, dressed in purple velvet. It was her own personal doll; no one was permitted to play with it. Her sister could look at it, but she could not play with it. The youngest sister admired her sister's doll each time she saw it, until she wanted it for herself. Whenever she was alone in her sister's room, she would play with the doll. One day the oldest sister saw her playing with her most precious doll, she told their mother about it. The mother spoke to her younger daughter. She told her that all of her sister's other dolls and toys, she could play with, but her sister's birthday doll was special, and she could not, by any means play with it. The girl smiled deviously as she pretended to obey her mother's request. She became more intrigued with it; she continuously played with the doll time and again. Again her sister went crying to their mother, for she had become weary with finding her most treasured doll touched. Her daughter's tears moved the mother. She spanked her youngest daughter and took away her toys, leaving her room barren. The youngest sister began to envy her sister; she then went to their mother pleading to her, how she wanted that doll and why she should have it. Her mother became angry with her daughter's request as she told her, "It was NOT hers to have, and until she understood it, her own toys would not be given Back to her."

One day when the youngest sister was in her room, she glanced around looking at the empty shelves and toy boxes that sat in the corner that used to be filled with toys. Now everything was so bleak and empty, she felt alone. She then realized that wanting something that did not belong to her was not worth the pain of being alone with nothing of her own. She went to her sister and told her that she was sorry, and she would never bother the doll again. She apologized to her mother for being disobedient. Her mother gave back her toys, and the younger sister was then content with her own things, hoping that one day, she to would have a special doll.

The youngest sister has never looked again upon her sister's doll with desire or want; she touched it not, for within her heart, she was truly sorry. One day the youngest sister went to her room to play. On her bed was a large box wrapped in gold paper with her name written on it. With excitement she tore open the box, and inside was the most elegant doll she had ever laid her eyes upon. It was dressed in a white silk gown that was detailed with tiny teardrop pearls. She ran to her mother with tears running down her face and hugged her tightly. She thanked her over and over again for giving her, her very own special doll. Her mother smiled down upon her child. Gingerly she took her daughter by the hand and told her, "This is your very OWN doll that belongs only to you, cherish and love it." The little girl smiled up at her mother, knowing in her heart that she would always love and cherish her doll. She cleared a place on her dresser, placing her doll carefully upon it. The joy she felt in her heart was overwhelming; she knew that she would never let anyone play with her special doll. She then cast her eyes upon her sister with a greater understanding of how her sister had truly felt about her OWN doll. It was precious to her, a gift that was meant for her, and nobody else had a right to it. Both sisters smiled warmly at their mother, for giving each of them, their very OWN special doll.

This little story may sound elementary to you, but for me it made me free. I wanted my OWN HUSBAND, my very OWN, who would belong only to ME. I then turned it over to GOD; I didn't want that man anymore. I knew that alone, I could not free myself because in time, I would give myself again unto that man. It was as though I was under his spell. I acknowledged my weakness unto the Lord. I asked him to help me, to deliver me from this bondage. Desperately I wanted to be free. Diligently I sought after my freedom with prayer, as I continuously cried out to God. I made a STAND for RIGHTEOUSNESS. When he phoned my home, the Lord gave me the strength to tell him to never call me again. I didn't want him, and shall never want him ever again. I had told him the same thing before on several occasions, but this time it was different. It wasn't just me speaking; it was Christ speaking through me with the authority and the power of the HOLY GHOST. I wasn't passive nor did I regret telling him those words. I felt nothing for him any longer. I didn't even shed a tear. God had taken it out of my heart. I knew that I deserved better, I didn't have to settle for less. Jesus LOVED ME, and he wanted to bless me. God can deliver you as he has delivered me. I was finally tired of being number TWO in SECRET, when I know I could be number ONE without any SHAME. I implore you again to REPENT, God CAN and WILL deliver YOU. Do so and prepare yourself to receive a true blessing from God, the HUSBAND he has for you and you alone, a relationship that will truly be blessed. For GOD and your TRUE HUSBAND are waiting together at the doors of your heart, won't you let them in?

By: Della R. Westerfield
Copyright 1999


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